Bow Wow likes his girl “g-h-e-t-t-o.” 50 Cent wants a girl to be his “best friend.” Lil Wayne likes them “sexy and high yellow”. Ray-J likes his girls “exotic and honest.” Jaime Foxx likes to be “Unpredictable” and Ne-yo loves when his girl is mad.
Just as the entertainers above know what they want in a woman, men of Dillard University do as well. Recent informal surveys and interviews of Dillard males revealed what they want in both a woman and in a relationship.
Lawrance Mullen, a sophomore biology pre-med major, said his ideal woman is attractive, smart, easy to get along with and financially stable. The Mobile, Ala. native said he loves a woman who is sassy and sexy at the same time.
Rashaad Scott, a junior economics and finance major from New Orleans, La. said he is most attracted to a woman with very sexy legs. Scott added, “I want a woman who is down to earth, outgoing and easy to get along with.”
Kael Saloy, a sophomore who is also a New Orleans native and an economics and finance major, said he wants a girl who is smart, pretty, well dressed, has a sense of humor and is able to pick out clothes for him.
Joseph Goudeau, a junior public health major, said he wants a woman who is “easy on the eyes.” Goudeau of Houston, Texas says he wants a woman who is attractive, smart, goal oriented, has a degree of classiness, and has a strong sense of self.
Christopher Pough, a graduating senior from Mobil, Ala. said he wants a girl who is cute, has a good attitude, and is presentable, versatile, nice and well rounded. The public health/health science major says he is turned off by a woman who smokes. Pough also said doesn’t like a woman who has a bad attitude problem. “You can be bossy, but you don’t have to degrade people.”
When it comes to discussing relationships, the men were very eager to give their opinions. On the issue of monogamy in particular they said. The American Heritage Dictionary defines monogamy as “The practice or condition of being married to only one person at a time or the condition of having only one mate.”
According to an informal survey taken by 20 male students, the majority of them believed in having a monogamous relationship. The survey also revealed that the males preferred beauty over brains and the most important thing in a relationship was honesty. On the contrary a similar survey of female students conducted at the same time proved they preferred brains over brawn.
In December of 2000 Essence magazine surveyed over 1,000 African American males and asked them about their opinions on monogamy. 53.5 percent said that they had never been unfaithful to their mate but 37 percent said they had strayed away from their marriages or relationships. 55.7 percent of men felt that honesty was one of the most important attributes of a relationship, just as Dillard males did.
Pough said he believed in monogamy because that’s the whole point of the relationship. Saloy said, “Either you are in a relationship or you’re not.” Goudeau said he likes stability which is why he believes in monogamy. Mullen said he’d only be in a monogamous relationship in order to protect him and his partner’s safety if they are engaging in sexual activity. Stephen Wigley, a graduating senior from Memphis, Tenn., said he is also supports monogamy. The biology pre-med major said he does because it’s the right thing to do, especially when families are involved.
The males also shared their views on the issue of infidelity in relationships The American Heritage Dictionary defines infidelity as “Unfaithfulness to a sexual partner, especially a spouse. An act of sexual unfaithfulness or the lack of loyalty.”
Mullen said he doesn’t want all women to think that men cheat because it is a horrible perception however several reasons for infidelity were that the woman may not be doing something right or that the man might be bored.
Saloy said that men cheat when they think women are doing the same. He said that “girls lie way more than guys.” Pough said he doesn’t want women to think that all men are dogs. “Just because you’ve had bad experiences with one that doesn’t mean give up. You might not have come across the right one yet.”
To maintain a relationship takes hard work and dedication as stated by some of the men. “If you wish to maintain a relationship it is important to mention past relationships but not in depth,” Saloy said. “Relationships are hard, like a full time job. You should treat it like one, if your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks notice,” Wigley said.
Scott believes communication is the key to maintaining a successful relationship. Scott said that if partners do not discuss certain things the relationship will not work. He also said, “Intimacy is just as important; it builds a better bond and thickens the thread.”
Goudeau said an important part of a relationship was trust and spontaneity. “Trust because that’s the foundation and without that solid foundation I’m not willing to build anything else on that. Spontaneity is important as well because I get bored easily and it will keep you on your toes.”
Though no one man has the same perspective of what they desire in a woman or a relationship, the males surveyed and interviewed at Dillard seem to generally have the same expectations. The question “What do you want in a woman?” will never have one answer, but rather many different versions of the ideal woman.