”I’m Not Sayin’ I’m a Gold Digger, but I’m not-.” and “I’m Looking for Mr. Right” are slogans women wear on screen t-shirts daily, but are women really in search of men with money, and exactly what does “Mr. Right” consist of?
According to an informal survey of 25 females at Dillard University, respect and honesty are the most important factors in a relationship. The survey also found that Dillard women are more attracted to a man’s intelligence than they are his outer appearance.
The May 2000 issue of Ebony magazine surveyed a host of black women for an article titled “What Black Women Really Want.” Their survey found that, 64.7 percent of women admire “honesty and integrity” in men; 32.1 percent admire “spirituality” in men; 25.1 percent admire “intelligence” in men; 21.9 percent admire “ambitious” men; 21.4 percent admire men with a “good sense of humor;”17.1 percent admire men who have the “ability to articulate their feelings” and 15.1 percent said they are attracted to a man’s “physical appearance.” Only 1.7 percent of the women who participated in the survey admired men with “high incomes.”
Like the women in the Ebony magazine, Dillard University females shared a number of characteristics and qualities that they are looking for in men and relationships.
Amber Boyd, a freshman from Indianapolis, Ind., said her ideal guy is 6’0 or taller and thick. She said her ideal relationship is one where she and her partner can communicate about absolutely everything. Boyd, who believes in monogamy, said personality and teeth attract her most to a man, while ignorance turns her off.
Amanda Winfield, a sophomore from New Orleans, said she is more attracted to a man’s scent and personality than his appearance. Winfield added that contrary to what most people think, she does not believe both parties should give 50 percent in a relationship because that results in giving only half of you. “I believe both people should give 100 percent in a relationship, therefore the relationship will equal 200 percent,” Winfield said.
Although Boyd seems to have more interest in a guy’s appearance than Winfield, they both said communication is an important asset to a relationship.
While the females at Dillard said respect and honesty is what holds a relationship together, they also seem to think appearance is imperative. Several of the women vary in what features and qualities they want their guy and their relationship to possess, but it seems that their ideal guy’s complexions are vital, yet conformed.
The following women all said they wanted a man with a brown complexion. Monique Lorden, a junior from New Orleans, said her ideal guy is 5’11, brown complexioned, with green eyes. “My fiance is my ideal man,” Lorden said. She said a man’s connection with God is important in a relationship. “If he has a good relationship with the Lord everything else will fall into place,” Lorden added.
Melissa Smith, a junior from Cincinnati, Ohio, said her ideal guy is tall, brown complexioned and buff. She said she believes honesty is extremely important in relationships. Though Smith said she believes in monogamy, she has admitted to have cheated on her current boyfriend. “I cheat because he cheats,” Smith said.
Tazha Sumpter, a junior from Birmingham, Ala., said her ideal guy is brown complexioned, 5’8, and has a beautiful smile. She said she believes communication and trust matters most in relationships. Sumpter said she is attracted to men with beautiful personalities and irritated by men with gold teeth.
Erica Peyton, a senior from St. Louis, Mo., said she wants her guy to look like the rapper Baby, who Cash Money Records signed. She said she believes trust is the number one priority in a relationship. “Love, trust and communication always make a good relationship,” Peyton said. She also said men with dirty socks disgust her because dirty socks say a lot about a person’s hygiene.
Although the surveys and the interviews revealed that the females at Dillard University are not interested in a guy’s income, the question, what does “Mr. Right” consist of remains unanswered. It seems that “Mr. Right” differs from one woman to the next.
Even though the female students at Dillard University have not found common grounds about “Mr. Right,” they all have one thing in common; they know exactly what they want.